Comparisons are easily done once you have had a taste of perfection
In a reallly sappy mood. weird. :)
There's a scene in American Beauty when Kevin Spacey is recalling his past where he says" I had the most fun of my life, all I did was party and get laid." He notes that this was the happiest time of his life, he allowed life to guide him, he followed the pace and didn't question it. Sometimes I think we try to force life on us, we try to force events, people, jobs, and activities on ourselves. I had an experience with this recently where I was dating this guy that I had questionable feelings for. I went with it because I thought it was the right thing to do, but in hindsight I should've ended it a lot earlier. If you think about it the best times in your life have been the unexpected ones, the times when you had no idea what was going to happen, but there was something about it that was refreshing and worth-while. For the past two weeks I've been doing a little adjusting, I've been doing whatever the hell I want, to be honest. And it's probably the best i've felt in a long time. I haven't been planning anything specifically or worrying as much i've just been moving forward. I felt like I was stuck for a while, but I get the feeling that it's all coming back. and it feels good. It's amazing how good you feel once you let go, and let life guide you, I quote an amazing man "Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so, you feel like running but life is on a stroll, this is how God does things." I noticed that we get through work, school, and most of our days. It's amazing how great you feel after a night of letting go, and just having some fun. I'm all about the poetics and beauty of life, but they're are those days when you just gotta sit back, and let life happen to you. I remember in 9th grade I had a really hard time. I never got to see my best friend, I felt alone, and I questioned my identity immensely. I thought I was going to stay in that rut forever. But then 10th grade happened, I fell in love, met new people, and had a lott of fun. But it's not like I planned it or anything, all of these things just happened. It's like watching a good movie, you go into the movie as an ecscape from life, but in the end you find it. Like all good stories, you walk into the situation as an escape from the old, but in the end you find life, you find yourself bonding with characters and finding meaning within scenes that you had never expected, and soon this story will end, and you will move into the new with a fresh perspective and motivation towards life. In the film "Stranger than fiction," When Harold finds out that he is supposed to die the professor tells him to make his life the one he's always wanted. For six years Harold lived in the same monotanous rountine everyday. In fact a lot of people live like that. Eventually life catches up with you though, you can't stay stagnant forever, life will heal you without your recognition of it happening. You know time's a funny thing...I once heard that time heals all wounds, and I think I agree, you know think about it think of the hardest time in your life, and does it still hurt? sure it does, but it has healed, new people, experiences, and conflicts are lifes way of healing you, if you're stuck right now, stranded by internal conflicts as freud would say, take a day to just party, try meeting some new people, or do something unexpected, or take a summer off and just party and get laid as Spacey would say. life has a way of working everything out.
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