within the lines of such chemistry

Just this past summer I had begun a bit of an experiemental stage in my life. I was drinking, smoking from time to time, and just having fun with friends. As the school year progressed the drinking became more often, about every weekend or so. I thought nothing of it I mean hey I was just having some fun. There's nothing wrong with that. It wasn't around 'till about Thanksgiving that the substances started changing. By that I mean we started doing harder stuff. Nothing too bad or anything, just smoked more, and a few other things, we even all talked about trying harder shit. Things stayed that way for around 2 months. On New Years Eve I got a huge smack in the face. Honestly, I have strict moral values. I mean i'm all for partying and having fun and all but i'm a big believer in drawing a line between fun and settling. A bunch of friends came over for news years eve, just like every year and we were drinking and having a good time when two of my straight edge friends showed up, it had been a while since I had seen them, probably around 9 months. I remember seeing how they reacted when they saw me smoking, or taking shots, I knew they were thinking this wasn't me and their right. I decided to ignore the feeling and continue on with what I was doing, the truth is I felt terrible. It's funny you never realize how you've changed until your past somehow finds a way back. When Amber left I felt like shit. She was my friend, and I made her uncomfortable. The truth is I have always been able to get this natural high out of life, and I was settling for a cheapened version of that. You have to remember that however you act you are setting the moral compass of those around you. Mine has always been north, I can fake it sometimes but it's not worth it. My brother isn't going down the right path, and I don't want him settling for this cheapened "high" when there's so much more out there. I'm not saying i'm straight edge, but im definitely starting to make some changes. Try adjusting your moral compass, or pay more attention as to which direction it's pointing, if for no other reason than you would like to help the people around you, I think you'd be surprised at the results.