I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me. Of course it does. I get so close to people and i'm afraid of loosing them. I'm afraid of loosing that part of me as selfish as it sounds. We were such good friends, and he helped me through so much. I mean they're great together I think they'll help each other out a lot, and I wish them the best, i really sincerely do. But i'll always miss how things used to be. He annoys me now. I'm not sure why. It's probably my fault, I screwed things up. But it's okay, we're still friends,and now he seems happy, and that's all that should matter.
Things are okay with Colin now. He used to bother me a lot. But the truth is I don't really know how to be someone's girlfriend. I see couples in the hallway and in society in general, and I just can't be like that. Glued to him like some dependent parasite. I see him as an individual, and we're together to make life more enjoyable for each other. If I were to be completely honest I'd say I enjoy the intensity he brings me but not him himself whole-heartedly. It's sad but that's what I've concluded. But there are times when I do sincerely feel strongly about him. Or is that simply my hypothalamus sending out too much oxytocin..haha.. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood....do I take the one less traveled by?
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